What is writing to me?

i have been writing (albeit badly) my whole life. it has always served as a means of both self expression and exploration of my deep, overwhelming imagination. imaginary worlds and circumstances have always existed inside my mind.
i do not consider myself to be good at writing. it is only a hobby to me, and i do not intend to appear as someone who actually knows what they are doing (because i am not!). however, i will always treasure my creations with my whole being, for they are a part of my very self.

sometimes writing is just letting words flow with no desire for cohesion (as in surrealist automatism).i structure what i write into either paragraphs or lines depending on what feels right. sometimes i want to paint a picture, a situation; yearn to generate immersion, to make my words breathe, and write more narratively. sometimes i have things to say and write attempts at essays.

i have trouble finishing what i write sometimes. what generates my words are spiteful feelings that can only be captured if i do not run out of energy – if i do and the feeling dies down, they will be left unfinished.

Why ocean?

it is a very recurrent theme in my writing next to swirls/spirals. i love everything about it very madly! contrary to most people, i like its “scary deep waters” “somber and all-consuming” self more than its usual friendly portrayal. sometimes i feel like i belong in the ocean.